What is fear? Fear is an emotional response to something we believe could cause us harm, loss, rejection, failure, pain, or uncertainty. Sometimes fear isn’t always bad, but often it’s the fear of the unknown. For me, writing this blog brings fear because it’s something new to me. Sharing my feelings, hopes, and desires, and sharing my testimony, brings me fear because it comes with opinions.

Even though fear may seem like the main character of this topic, it’s not – because God is, and He is love and peace. One thing fear has taught me is that it only stops you from doing what God is calling you to do. It plants doubt within you, makes you overthink, causes you to expect the worst, and keeps you comfortable. But how will you elevate if you remain comfortable?

For me, fear has always had space in my mind and taken up a lot of my time – time I could have spent with God or doing the work He has placed me on earth to do. In this season, I’m learning to overcome my fear. That has taken time and a lot of support from my amazing church family and the Lord.

Genesis 15:1 – “fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.”

Abram is stepping into an unknown future, and God tells him, “Fear not.” But notice why God tells him not to fear: “I am thy shield.” God is reminding Abram that He is with him and will protect him. This reflects the love of the Lord and the love He has for His people.

God is doing the same for me in this season. He has shown me multiple times why I shouldn’t idolise fear, because His name is above all names. I have a daughter, and she is amazing and beautiful, but unfortunately, her dad and I are no longer together. Before we ended things, I feared that she wouldn’t grow up in a home with two parents. But I also feared that if she watched us argue and remain unhappy, she would grow up thinking that was love.

Both of those fears were very real to me. I battled with myself for the longest time because I knew we could overcome what we were going through – but at what cost? My daughter potentially following the same cycle, or my happiness and ability to raise her as a healthy parent?

One night, I had a dream that felt so real. I was sitting alone in a dark, open room with no walls. There was so much space around me and light in every corner, but where I was sitting, darkness surrounded me. I cried so much that I clutched my chest. Even in my sleep, I could feel the pain.

When I woke up, I knew I couldn’t let fear win, so we made the decision to move on. It wasn’t easy because we were best friends, but our daughter’s happiness and the happiness of both of us were what we needed to put first.

This is just a glimpse of how fear can hold you back. It can stop you from making the right decision. In that season of my life, I met God – not for the first time, but in a new way. He was there. He showed me that dream, and He showed me the light in every corner of the room. I just had to meet Him there, and I did.

In this season, don’t let fear stop you from embracing new beginnings. Walk with me as I become her, through Him.

Until the next chapter, beloved.

– Alesia x